I wish all Americans a very happy and relaxing holiday. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because my dysfunctional family doesn't have a large celebration, unlike the dreaded Christmas. Instead, I go to my sister's house to eat dinner with her family. It's just my sister, her husband and two little girls and me. That's it, and that's great. It's just like any other day except we break out the good candles.
I was invited to attend Thanksgiving at my friend Eli's mother's house this year. His family sounds amazing. Based on what he's told me, I think I could get at least four blog posts out of one meal. Sadly, I had to decline the invite, but I'm anticipating a future invitation to witness this bunch gathered in one room. Fingers crossed for a wedding! The only thing I can imagine being better would be to attend my first black people funeral. That's certainly on my "to do" list before I become dead.
Enough about holidays. I need your opinion on something that is upsetting me. Regular readers of the blog know all about how my ex-boyfriend Jack sued me and then ran off with that homelywrecker wombat Chester Prynne. Some of my die hard readers might know that after Jack and I broke up, I became the girlfriend to Calico Kitten. Calico Kitten was great for a while, but I was forced to break up with him.
In the aftermath of our break up, CK has taken a part-time job in making me miserable. He even bragged to me that he had befriended Jack. WTF? I recently discovered that he is FB friends with Chester Prynne. The same person who he referred to in a love letter scroll to me as being Jack's disgusting downgrade. Each time he would have the misfortune of seeing shim in public, he'd come home to me and go on and on about her loathsome face and body, and that he couldn't fathom ever going from me to that. Perhaps he was exaggerating to make me smile? He seemed sincere at the time. Hmmm.
I made an inquiry to CK regarding the matter, and he claimed that he had no idea how he became FB friends with Chester and that he didn't realize who she is. A lie, obviously. So why, other than to hurt me, would CK fraternize with Chester or Jack or any of those other
So what do you think, readers?
Is he trying to hurt me for leaving him?
Is he a desperate starfucker groupie?
Is he a bizarro creep?
All of the above?
Feedback is greatly appreciated.
Love,
BV
Posts
ALL OF THE ABOVE
ReplyDeleteCreep!
ReplyDeleteAll of the above? It just seems like a weird and cruel thing to do. What do you do to guys to make them act so crazy after you break up?
ReplyDeleteAll of the above. For sure.
ReplyDeleteAlso? When I lived with a girlfriend of a bass player in a popular Dayton band in the 90's and this happened more than I would like to admit. It's pretty low and stupid considering said bass player and I were mortal enemies.
i have been to a dead black body wake. it was weird. the weirder story is how the man died right in front of the whole PTA school party pep night. it was horrible. the principal gave him vomity mouth to mouth (the guy was heart attacking - an see, sometimes people upchuck when they be havin' heart attacks) and it was really frightening and gross. so yeah, my black sister cheerleader friend's dad died in front of everyone on PTA pep night, 8th grade. sad. sad. sad. and yes, of course i can still do the splitz. it's a very nice party show thing or whatever. i still know the my high school fight song, despite all the LSD and fucking weeds i smoked. i finally quit in the 11th grade and switched to a slum school where i could be myself.
ReplyDeleteok, so back on target. this is all about you, not me. the guy is not to be worried about. he is not worthy of a blog post. you are feeding the fire. dont be feedin the fire, lady. especially if the fire has FB in it. walk the other way, turn the other cheek, take the high road, make up yer own quotes. i hope you made this story up - an that it is not true and that you are really are not in need of this type of advice. if so, you really should be asking all of your FB and blogs frinz about who is a great mental health professional. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
I used to have a black people boss. One day she came into my office and said that she had to leave early to go to a damn funeral. Then she lowered her glasses, looked me in the eye and said, "Have you ever been to a black folk funeral?" I shook my head no. She began to describe in detail what happens at a BPF. She even pretended to throw herself on an imaginary coffin, which was really my file cabinet.
ReplyDeleteEver since that day, I've longed to attend a black people funeral. I've seen them depicted in the movies, but I don't think that film could possibly capture all of the magic and theatrics as witnessing it in person.
Most recent Anonymous: I'm not losing sleep over CK's latest example of odd behavior. I simply wanted an objective opinion on the matter. I think I have my answer: All of the above.
im black, so when i die, i will invite you to my funeral. i really do think funerals should be invite ONLY. cheers!
ReplyDeleteDefinitely a starfucker! There is also a hefty amount of projection ("I must get revenge for the cruel way she treated meeee!") involved in this.
ReplyDeleteWell, Thanksgiving was a total success, even though I missed Eli's party! I got to play my new favorite game, Burqa Baby, with my niece Lana (age 3). It's where I dress her up in a tiny burqa and she pretends to be sad because she can't do all the things that regular babies do. It's so fun!
ReplyDeleteI was also able to spend a little time with old and new friends in my motherland of Cincinnati/NKY. Someone even slipped me a Xanax! I'm totally saving it for a snowy day.
The best part of the holiday was the receipt of some very interesting, unsolicited information about Chester Prynne. Let's just say--the world is small and I was right about Chester all along!
I heard Chester is an indie rock bicycle. Everyone's had a ride!
ReplyDelete@most recent anonymous: Ha! Ha! Ha! I heard the exact same thing!
ReplyDeleteMy anonymous comment was removed. Truth hurts.
ReplyDeletePatrick Rodgers is a loser.
ReplyDelete@most recent anonymous: Strongly agreed. He's not even in a band anymore. For Nashville, that's the ultimate one way ticket to Loserville. He's an opportunist and likes to fuck whores from the Itty Bitty Titty Committee who have fucked all of his friends, (obviously not referring to myself here), so I'm sure Third Man will set him up with a new band in no time. I've never really regretted anything I've done in life, but I regret dating him. He's a sneak. Did I mention he's a woman beater? Yeah, that's why I broke up with him: He beat me up!
ReplyDelete