Sad Day

This blog isn't all fun and games, especially not today.  This weekend marks a very sad anniversary for me.  Nearly two years ago I lost someone very dear to me, my lifelong friend, Angie.  We met when my family moved from the city to a more suburban area when I was eight years old.  We attended the same schools through college.  In ninth grade Biology we were lab partners, but then she had to quit me because her parents found out that I gave her a whiskey/tequila/vodka (gross) drink after school.  My new lab partner didn't make up witty songs to remember the phases of mitosis, and she certainly didn't draw hilarious dick doodles on her folders, like Angie did. :(

In tenth grade we were both inducted into The National Honor Society, however her membership was cut short for fist fighting a hoodrat girl...twice.  She was sent away to some sort of boarding school in upstate New York for a while where she picked up smoking cigarettes, a really badass black leather jacket and some punk rock mix tapes.  Then I had to quit her because my mom thought the new Angie was a bad influence.  

Angie loved to write poetry and she would often let me read the poems.  Here is one she wrote when she was 17 to a guy she was madly in love with:

Static in my brains
Electric in my veins
Because of you
Can you feel my blood drip on your soul?
These blood red lips, you'll never know
I'm enthusiastic about your sin
Tell me when it all begins

I obviously thought it was hilarious---because it is hilarious!!

When she was around 20, I introduced her to her future husband.  Around that same time she almost caused me to go to prison (long story), but I totally forgave her.  People make mistakes, and besides, as of this blog post, I am not in prison.  For my 22nd birthday she took me to Chicago for the weekend.  I took a photo of her on that trip and she looks beautiful and just how I remember her.  I came across it recently and all of my memories of her were fresh again.  I really miss her.

At 25, as her Maid of Honor, I hosted a bachelorette party for her.  It was a disaster, mostly because our friend Trippette and I took some Ecstasy and got weirded out.  We ended up wandering off to the riverbank where we privately detonated all of the fireworks we bought for the party.  I also failed to purchase any food for the party, but compensated hours later by ordering a pizza.  Her bridal shower was the next day and Trippette and I ended up being two hours late with raging hangovers.  Sorry for partyin'!  Angie forgave me, thankfully.

The years passed and I always remained close with Angie.  Of all of our friends, she and I were the most alike.  We both liked art and music and writing and black kitty cats.  We both had that same sort of melancholy spirit and the feeling that we were both just a little different than everyone else.  A month before she died she, as an only child, told me that I was the closest thing to a sister to her....which is why I continue to harbor enormous amounts of guilt for letting her down.  When she was at her worst, when she really needed a friend and a sister, I was engrossed in my own drama that was taking place with my ex-boyfriend, Jack.  One day I'm being summons to court by him and the next day I get a call that Angie has taken her own life.  One can only imagine how that Dear Diary entry reads.

So yeah, November 22 and Thanksgiving and changing leaves, these things remind me of losing my friend and make me wish so much that she was here with me right now.