Brokeass Matchmaker

In the year or so that I've been giving advice on the blog, I've received countless inquiries from readers about love and relationships.  I assume, since I haven't received any hate mail from those I've given advice, that my offerings have been successful.  Given my penchant for spot on insights on human behavior, I've decided to take things to the next level.  Beginning immediately, I am offering my services as a matchmaker for lonely souls.  No, I am not a madame or performing slut-slinging.   The women in my family stopped that nonsense in the 70s, or so I'm told.  Apparently my great-grandmother had a mansion, a new Cadillac every year, and sent all of her grandchildren to private boarding school, but never seemed to have any explanation as to the origin of all the precious monies.  Hmmm, maybe madame-ing isn't such a despicable profession after all.  Madames don't really have to do any whore stuff, right?  Hoodrat stuff I'm okay with---whore stuff, not so much.

This is how it works.  First, you send me a photo or two of yourself.  Along with the photo, I will need the following:  Your basic physical attributes (approx height/weight, build, etc), Profession, Interests/Hobbies, Pet Peeves, Qualities of your ideal mate, etc.  I will then post your profile on the blog in the hopes that a potential mate will express interest.  This is open to all--males, females, gays, lesbian, transgenders.   I will not publish your contact information (or real name).   Any interested party will need to email me to get your personal information.  Of course, everyone will be screened by me personally.  Inevitably, you will be perfectly matched in no time!

If you are lonely, lovelorn, and cannot fathom another dateless Saturday night, I implore you to email me at Click here for email.