It's been a week or so since I've started the wildly popular "Brokeass Matchmaker" service on the blog, and it's already garnered the attention of a reader called "Chen". In the mysterious email, Chen simply stated, "I have a proposal for you." That's it. So....
Chen, if you are out there and reading, please resubmit your email with more specific information. Are you a non-racist racist? A tough guy looking to get punched in the face by a Kuntry dominatrix? Androgynous with luxurious hair and young, supple skin? Please reveal yourself and your intentions to Lisa, Kathy and Kelli--our single ladies looking for
While I suppose it is possible, but highly unlikely, that the email from Chen is spam, it would make my holiday season complete to see these lovely and well endowed ladies get some kisses under the mistletoe. (Even if one of them is Jewish and the other two are halfsies.) We can all dream that magical Christmas dream!
And finally, I am feeling extra generous lately and will start another free service on the blog: Tarho readings from Mademoiselle de Teacup. Mademoiselle is a renowned clairvoyant with superior insights to the human condition. She also has a drinking problem, but it usually doesn't interfere with her work. If you would like a free reading, please submit your name, date of birth, and a question to bluevelvetsfp@gmail.com. Select readings will be posted on the blog.
Love,
BV
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i am making a FAIL potion RIGHT NOW.
ReplyDeleteNo fail potions! Only magic whiskies!
ReplyDeletegrowl!!!!!!!!! snicker!!!!!!!!!! do me right, bitch!
ReplyDeleteLet's be fair...whiskey and potions will be okay.
ReplyDeleteLet's be fair: I deserve a new boyfriend. And by boyfriend I mean a person who will do everything I say, (up to and including murdering my enemies), and give me all of his monies.
ReplyDeleteI deserve a boyfriend that lets me beat him up and take all of his monies.
ReplyDelete