These are sad times, people. Did you hear that Planned Parenthood may lose federal funding? Although they are known for their abortions, which are not funded by the federal government, they also offer STD testing, birth control and, rumor has it, bikini waxing--which are funded by the government.
I travel a lot. One of my favorite things to do when I visit a new city is to check out the local Planned Parenthood. (I know, totally touristy!) Anyway, I would hate for them to lose precious monies! What else is there to do on a Tuesday in Duluth, Minnesota? If you care anything about abortion rights, ensuring the producers of "Teen Mom" have a smaller applicant pool, tourism, or getting tested, I implore you to sign this online petition:
Planned Parenthood has The Sads :(
In the event funding is lost, I have proactively sent the good people at Planned Parenthood some ideas on how to cut costs and increase revenue. First, they need to start charging for the post D&C cookies and juice, or at least do a cross-promotion with The Girl Scouts during cookie season. I also suggested they borrow from the Holocaust museums' (yes, plural, the fucking Holocaust museum is a chain!) business model and open up a gift shop in each branch. After all, I've often wondered: Where do I go to purchase a gift for the guy who has everything, including herpes? Lastly, they could install an interactive exhibit that allows the patients and their guests to shoot real guns with real bullets at the protesters out front!
2 hours ago
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Planned Parenthood used to be cool, back when there was just the one space & hardly anyone knew about it. Why does everything have to turn into a chain? They're like Hard Rock Cafe now.
ReplyDeleteYou know what's not a chain? The Creation Museum! They offer camel rides, a bridal package, and a petting zoo. Yeah, the gift shop kinda sucks, but whatevs! Oh, and the whole part about dinosaurs interacting with Adam and Eve? Suspend your disbelief, people. The Creation Museum is the shit!!!!
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