Dearest Diary,
Yesterday I was bored. Yes, even beautiful princesses get the doldrums from time to time. I decided to rifle through the pockets of my jeans (size 26) that are strewn about my bedroom floor. I was hoping to find some dollah billz, but I ended up discovering some cocaine that I forgot about!! I snorted a line and decided to save the rest for later.
Unfortch the only thing I ingested all day (besides the cocaine) was a Dr. Pepper in a can. I quickly found myself vomiting, and eventually dry heaving, in my bathroom sink. At least I didn't have to burn off those 140 calories from the Dr. Pepper!
Later in the evening I went to a bar. I drank heavily and took a couple of pain pillz. Afterwards, I went to my friend's house. We were sitting in his living room when I remembered that I still had about a gram of coke in a baggie inside my coat pocket! I needed to sober up, so I pulled the coke out of my pocket and set about to line up a rail. Due to my over-intoxication, however, I spilled the coke on the rug beneath my feet.
I frantically began to sift through the carpet fibers in an attempt to collect the white powder. The effort was fruitless, so I took a rolled up single and placed one end on my nostril and the other in the carpet. I inhaled. Then I told my friend I was going to use his bathroom. I took a shower where I made use of his sister's bath products. When I finally emerged, fresh and clean, my friend informed me that his dog might have snorted the rest of my coke. For good measure, I quickly grabbed my rolled up dollar and, again, placed one end on my nostril---but this time I placed the other end in his dog's fur. I inhaled.
I am fairly confident that I am no longer welcome in his home. Sorry for partyin'!
Regards,
White Cat
2 hours ago
Posts
When you say you found cocaine in the "pockets of [your] jeans (size 26) that are strewn about [your] bedroom floor," do you actually mean "at a creepy, weird, sleazy coke dealer's house"?
ReplyDeleteYes! I strongly suspect that he is HIV positive. Black Cat thought he was cute, though.
ReplyDeleteMaybe Black Cat is a closet Pos. Now THAT would be an interesting twist on all of our sex parties!
ReplyDeleteI think you're on to something! Remember when she was "raggin" and wouldn't allow penetration? I bet she just didn't want to get her feline AIDS juice all over the place!
ReplyDeleteCan you get gay cancer from rough mouth sex?
ReplyDeleteOh noes! Ginger Bear, you in danger!
ReplyDeleteAccording to The Cornell Feline Health Center:
Even though the risk of transmission of FIV from cats to humans is minimal, immunocompromised persons (such as those undergoing chemotherapy, HIV-infected persons, and some pregnant women and newborn infants, and especially Ginger Bears during rough mouth sex) should not be exposed to cats with FIV or FeLV infections. Cats with retrovirus-induced immunosuppression are especially susceptible to infection with several parasitic organisms that can cause severe disease in immunosuppressed individuals.
There's only one place to go from here, and I hate to say it, but...we're all going to have to tested. Seriously. I'm serious. Get tested. All of us.
ReplyDeleteI DO NOT HAVE FIV! Stop cock blockin!
ReplyDeleteAnd, we've come full circle.
ReplyDelete---Fade to Black---