The Little People

Hello Readers.  Long time, no see.  I've been so very busy lately.  I moved and it was a total hassle.  Like, I still don't have all of my things in my new place, which is a source of worry and woe for me.  I haven't the slightest as to how I'm going to retrieve the remaining items I have in Nashville.  Does anyone on here have a truck that they'd let me borrow for a few days?  The validity of my driver's license is in question.

My sister has way too many children (three--Lana, Myla, Hank) and asked me to come for a visit recently.  Not to keep her company, of course, but so that I could be her free nanny.   Again, due to the cumbersome move, I haven't seen these little beauties in months.  My, how they grow, physically and intellectually, in a short amount of time.

Lana is headed back to pre-school, so I took her shopping on Friday.  The items we purchased had nothing to do with school and everything to do with toys, so we had to go shopping again on Saturday.  I'm deviating from my point, however.  On Friday afternoon, we visited the local Target.  As most people know, Target has a section, strategically placed in the front of the store, where everything is $1.  Lana instantly ran to it and started placing worthless junk into our cart at lightning speed:  sparkly pencils, tiny books, anything with glitter, junk, junk, junk.  "You're going to use all of your budget on junk!"  I warned her.  She didn't give a fuck.  Suddenly, she stopped dead in her tracks.

A dwarf woman passed us in the aisle.  I could tell by the way Lana stared and stared and stared some more that she had never seen a dwarf.  I attempted to distract her.  "Miss Lana, would you like to look at the princess stuff?  Let's see all the new princess stuff."  Thankfully, the dwarf moved quickly, picked up her $1 party invitations and moved along to the clothing section.

"Aunt Kelli,"  she whispered, "why was that lady so small?"

"Some people grow up tall and some people stay small.  Like some people have dark skin and some people have light skin," was the best I could muster.  She seemed to understand.  We headed for the toy section.  Along the way, however, I spotted another dwarf.  I assumed it was the dwarf woman's husband.  Then a few dwarf kids.  I hoped that Lana did not see them, for I knew a line of questioning would follow.

We perused the princess stuff.  We perused the Barbie stuff.  We perused what was apparently an aisle dedicated to faux jewels and glitter.  Soon, our cart spilled over with overpriced items that she will likely enjoy either never or once.  As we headed to the check-out lane, she confessed, "Aunt Kelli, I saw a man who was like that lady.  What are they?"  Shit.

"They are called little people, honey."

She loudly exclaimed, "Then why are their butts so big?"  I turned my head to laugh when I saw the entire dwarf family to my immediate right.

As the weekend progressed, she told varying tales to anyone who would listen about her encounter with the dwarfs.  The story became increasingly dramatic with each rehash.  Her ultimate conclusion as to why their butts are so big is that little people's brains are located in their butts, as opposed to their heads.  I wholeheartedly agreed.