Dear Seydou Sissoko,
I am writing to apologize for the ignorant rant I sent to you earlier. I believe it might be the reason you haven't written me with details of the next steps I need to take to purchase the gold dust farm in Mali. Mali is a FOR REAL place. If I took a moment to perform a quick Google search prior to sending my last email, I would have known that Mali is a third world country in Western Africa whose natural resources are uranium, salt and GOLD. Also, most of the citizens of Mali make a mere $1.25 per day, yet your country hosted it's first ever fall fashion show this year. Priorities! Also, when I read about the high illiteracy rate problem in Mali, it made me feel guilty for pointing out your grammatical and spelling errors.
So now that we've cleared up all of that, can you please contact me about the gold dust farm? Does this farm have housing....nothing spectacular....maybe a hut or something with lots of windows so I can watch my gold grow for the entirety of my retirement? Is it near a local hipster hangout/dive bar with a good jukebox? Is it within walking distance of a Whole Foods? I don't really drive, so I need to sort of be in an cultural and commercial epicenter if I'm going to live there most of the year.
Anyway, I am eagerly anticipating your response, so please contact me post haste!
I love you!
Love,
KC
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Unrelated, but somebody's trying to lift your shit again. Lawsuit?
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Ugh! I've learned from experience that becoming embroiled in a lawsuit requires two major components: Lots of monies and lots of venom. Seeing as I have neither at the moment (at least until I get my gold dust farm in Mali), I can't see myself engaging in such. I will probably send a strongly worded email, being that all that takes is idle time, of which I have plenty. Thanks for the heads up!
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